The Adoption Process.... It's long!

A lot of people are amazed that it will take us so long to complete our adoption.  I have to remind myself that most people have not spent hours pouring over adoption literature, and so are not familiar with the whole process. Also, I have to remember that as absurd as some of it seems, these countries are doing everything in their power to protect the children - and that is important - the most important.... 


To make the process a little bit more transparent and understandable, I am going to do my best to write a summary of the adoption process. I am writing specifically about adopting from Ethiopia (since really that is all I know anything about and I only know a little about that - we are learning as we go), but the process is very similar for other countries, as well. This is a long post and not the most thrilling of updates.  Also, I doubt you will make to the end (I understand), but hopefully it will provide a reference as we move through the process! So in the future when I start rambling about where we are in the process and using acronyms that mean nothing to you, the theory is you can click back here and try to figure out what the heck is going on!!!

International Adoption 101:


Disclaimer: this is being written by a non-expert who is only experienced in the approximately first 10% of the entire process, but I have read about it (a lot). So take if for what it is worth! 


1.) Finding an agency and deciding on a country program. There are SO many different agencies and country programs. Research well - some agencies have different rules, different costs, different ethics.


We had some good referrals for Christian World Adoption (CWA).  We know families that have worked with them and been pleased with the services they provided. They also were responsive when we contacted them and had programs for the countries we were interested in.


2.) Fill out an initial application (sometimes called pre-application).  This is usually free, and is just to get a feel for whether you even qualify for the program you are interested in. Information you need to do this is you and your spouse's full name and birthday, last year's income, and maybe your basic religious affiliation if it is a Christian agency. This is a pretty simple step and can often be done on on-line.


3.) Apply for a specific program within the adoption agency. For this you will, again, need your vital statistics, your income info, info on how much $$ you currently have saved, and you will probably have to answer some questions about health, life style, how many children you have, religious affiliation, and give 3-5 references. There will be an application processing fee associated with this.


A note about savings: We have been told not to worry if we don't have all the money in the bank necessary to adopt. At this point they are more interested in seeing that you live within your means, and they may ask you about your plans for fund-raising, applying for grants, etc. - LOTS of families adopt without having all the money in the bank beforehand! The cost of adoption is scary, but it's not all due at once, there ARE grants, and we will have time to fund-raise! (Honestly, to this point, we have put up the cash we had saved up, but we have been incredibly blessed by our family and friend’s generosity. We have a long way to go financially, but will be doing some more fund-raising too. We have some exciting events to get going on! And really, THANK YOU to those of you that have given to us! You are awesome!)


A few days after sending off our application and application fee, we got an email accepting us into their program and sending our contract. You will READ THIS (this is going to govern your relationship with the agency which is a big deal - you need to understand what it says and ask questions), sign this, and send it in along with the initial program fee. This is likely the first big chunk of change you will put up. 


4.) Agency assignment of a family coordinator (for the dossier).  This is an individual that will help with the paperwork portion of the adoption. They are your go-to guy for any questions about what precisely you need and any document requirements (and there are a lot of requirements)!


5.) Identify an agency for the Homestudy. The agency for the homestudy will provide the social worker which will complete your homestudy, and likely, your post-adoptive investigations. Some agencies are able to do the homestudy, but generally only in the states where they are based. We had to identify our own homestudy agency and then verify they would be able to contract and work with CWA. (More about the homestudy below).


You will want to start working with your homestudy agency immediately!  We were a little caught up in the paperchase and didn’t do this. Unfortunately, this means we have lost a little time.  Our agency is awesome, but it needs it own set of paperwork (which differs slightly from the dossier) and we would be ahead if we had been able to group that effort into our dossier paperchase... Clear as mud?  Point is, contact the homestudy agency ASAP, it will make the process easier!


6.) Paperchasing. A lot of the documents you have to collect for your dossier (more about what a dossier is in a bit) and your home study (I will explain this, too) are the same. Generally the social worker is ok with receiving copies of a lot of the documents we had to get for the dossier. Because of this, we were able to paper-chase for the dossier and the home study in parallel. The requirements for the homestudy and the dossier are similar but not identical, so be careful and make sure you get what you need for both the first time around (this is where we went slightly astray). 


The time we usually see represented for completing the paperchase is usually listed as between 3-6 months. Some families have finished in mere weeks, others take a year. We are nearing the end of our paperchase and it will likely take us about 2 months. 


Dossier: This is the collection of original documents (it is a long list!) that is sent to Ethiopia (or whatever country you are adopting from). These documents will be the legal framework for your adoption and include everything from your bank verifying your financial status, doctor letters, proof of life insurance, employment verification, sheriff letters, etc..... Your family coordinator will send you detailed instructions that are specific to your country program. If you are ever in doubt, always ask your family coordinator! That is their job, and they are happy to help. This list includes about 15-20 documents that are all either notarized or certified.  


Honestly, the notary issue was more of a pain than I anticipated. I am now realizing that I work in an office with 8 notaries and they are all well educated in what is required. There are some specific requirements to make sure the notaries are approved in Ethiopia, but I am truly amazed that some of the notarization we have gotten back do not even comply with Montana law, much less the additional requirements for Ethiopia!


Home Study: The same documents (or copies) as the dossier as well as others, to prove your identity, check your background, show your family’s income and health. In addition your social worker will meet with you 3x (at least once in your home) to interview you (the parents) together and separately. They will meet and engage with your children and will tour your house. Our social worker is awesome, but this is an invasive process. You will be asked to write an autobiographical essay answering a specific set of questions. It will feel like you are being asked to bare all, but understand that this is being done to ensure the safety and happiness of your future child. Your social worker will also look at your home to make sure it is safe. This does NOT mean you have to disinfect every inch of your home - in fact, the social worker will be concerned if everything is spic and span because a child might feel like an intrusion into such order. Basically, make sure all the bedrooms have a smoke alarm, have a fire extinguisher, store cleaning supplies and medicine behind a locked door, and make sure knives and weapons are stored safely (ammunition and firing pins must be locked in a safe). 


In the course of our paper chase we have been asked to pay several more fees, to your agency, to your home study agency, to the USCIS, and possibly you will have to pre-pay your post adoption visits. At this point wet feel like we are bleeding money. It is not always significant fees, but I have written more checks in the last two months than I usually do in years! Just make sure you get receipts and that costs are itemized (you will need this for your re-adoption process in Montana and for tax purposes). Our agency is very good about being open and transparent about costs. If your agency is being secretive, this may be a red flag. Don't be shy to ask questions. 


This is essentially where we are right now!  I am struggling a little bit because it feels like we have stalled out just a bit as we wait on one set of documents (background checks from Colordao).  Once we receive those our homestudy will be complete, we can button up our dossier and move on to the next step! 


(7) Training - Both our adoption agency (CWA) and our homestudy agency (Sacred Portion Childrens’ Outreach) require us to complete adoption training as a requirement of working with them.  This includes reading and testing on adoption parenting literature, videos and online training.  As we are waiting on finishing up our paperchase we are also tackling this work!


(8) I-600A Form sent to United States Custom and Immigration Services (USCIS). Once your home study is finished (following a review our adoption agency CWA), you will receive several copies of a home study summary from your social worker. You will send one copy to the USCIS (immigration), along with your I-600A application and some fees. Within 2-9 weeks you will have a biometrics appointment (aka be fingerprinted) at the nearest USCIS office. A while later you will be sent the I-171H, which is the approved permission to adopt from another country. 


We have recently been told that there is a “backlog” at USCIS and that processing of our I-600A form could take as long as 3 months.  This is a little bit discouraging because we will be at a standstill at that point. Surely this is why we are repeatedly told to EXPECT DELAYS.  We will be praying and keeping our fingers crossed that this is not the case. 


(9) Send your dossier to your agency. We will email all of the documents to our family coordinator once we have the complete package for them to review.  They can review these as we wait on our USCIS approval.  If we have anything to fix we can do it during this time so when we send in our final dossier package we have some certainty that it is good to go (or so we are hoping)


We will then assemble multiple copies of our dossier, as well as the original. We will be paying additional fees at this time, both program fees and the first installment of the international fee. Don't forget to include payment.




(10) DTE - this is a BIG DEAL! Take a deep breath. Fed-Ex your dossier and copies to your agency, as instructed. 


Your family coordinator will then overnight your dossier to the State Department for another level of authentication, as well as to the Ethiopian Embassy. Then they will send your dossier to Ethiopia via courier service. The date on which it is sent off by your agency is used to calculate your position in line waiting for your child. We will be doing a happy dance, when we can fill in our DTE date ("Dossier to Ethiopia"). Once in Ethiopia, our dossier is translated into Amharric, and is presented to the Ethiopian government. 


(11) Then we WAIT. . .  Rejoice in the fact that we no longer have to chase for documents. And wait some more. According to our agency, the wait time for a toddler from Ethiopia is approximately 9 months counting from DTE, but could be longer. 


Use this time well - we will be organizing more fundraisers (currently planned - massive garage sale on July 7)! We will read literature about adoption and bonding and attachment. We will be learning more about Ethipia. You can also get connected with other adoptive families online or in your area. We will pray for our child, and for his or her birth mother. Prepare our hearts and our home for welcoming a new little blessing. 


Wait some more. Wait even more. 


(12) Referral! Right around the time when we think we can't stand waiting any longer, our family coordinator will inform us that we are among the top 10 on the wait list. This means we are "on deck" and could receive a referral call at any time in the next days/weeks/months. Referrals seem to come in clusters, probably due to the way paperwork is processed in Ethiopia. 


When we receive THE call, our family coordinator will tell us they have a possible referral for us. They will tell you the gender and age, and the short version of medical and family history, and ask us if we are interested in finding out more. If we say yes, they will email us one or more pictures of the child, along with more detailed background info. We then have a few days to decide. During this time we will think, pray, and probably meet with a pediatrician who specializes in international adoption medicine. We will probably look at the referral picture about ever 2 minutes, and I doubt I will be able to sleep. 


The hardest part at this point is that we are not allowed to show anyone the picture! Literally only Buck and I are allowed to see it. The child's identity must be protected, and showing others the picture can actually jeopardize your adoption!


(13) Referral acceptance. As soon as we make the decision to accept the referral, we let our family coordinator know, and sign a formal acceptance form. We will probably have to pay the second installment of the international fee at this point. 


Our acceptance paperwork will then be processed in Ethiopia, and we wait for a court date.


Depending on how long we wait for a court date (currently about 8-12 weeks) we will receive monthly updates about your little one, including pictures, development and health info. Depending on your agency, we may be able to send care packages. 


(14) Travel to Ethiopia for our court date!  At this time we also get to meet our son or daughter... and we will go to court to formally adopt our child within the Ethiopian legal system. If we pass court, our child is given our last name, and we may now show your friends and family some pictures. 


Many families don't pass court the first time around. (Gulp!) This may be due to the missing MOWCYA letter (the Ethiopian Ministry of Women's Children's and Youth Affairs has to write a letter of recommendation, and is sometimes back-logged), or maybe the judge asks for additional documentation about the child. If this happens, we don't have to go to court again... we travel back home as planned, and the agency will use their power of attorney and go back to court for us. In some cases, a new court appointment isn't necessary, and the judge will sign off on the paperwork as soon as the MOWCYA letter arrives. 


It is going to be very difficult to leave our child in Ethiopia while his or her papers are being processed... but in most cases, he/she will be in an agency transition home, where she will be loved and cared for by wonderful nannies. 


Once we pass court, the adoption paperwork is forwarded to the US Embassy in Addis Ababa for processing. This can take anywhere between 2 and 12 weeks. Also, once our family has passed court, we will be allowed to show pictures of our child, and will be able to sign a photo release form to have other families who travel to Ethiopia take pictures of our child. 


(15) Embassy appointment. Once we are "cleared for Embassy" we will be given an Embassy appointment. This sometimes happens VERY short notice - sometimes three days notice! But usually at least a week or two! This is when we take our second trip to Ethiopia and will be able to bring our child home with us! On our Embassy appointment we appear with our child, fill out some paperwork, possibly see an Embassy doctor, and then are cleared for travel. At this point we get to keep our little one with us at the guest house! Then you fly fly fly home... and when you land in the US, your little one becomes an American citizen (there are some exceptions). 


(16) Post placement visits and reports. The Ethiopian government (and Montana law)  requires a series of post-placement visits by our social worker to ensure good attachment and health of our little one. Our social worker is also a wonderful resource for advice if you are facing some challenges. There is an expense associated with these visits. Several post-placement reports will need to be submitted to the Ethiopian government at set dates, up until your child is 18 years old. This is a measure to ensure that your child is being treated well and is thriving. 


(17) Optional (but-not-so-optional) so-called Re-adoption in the US legal system. This step is optional... but it IS recommended. I have recently been assisting families with this process and it will make the future document-chasing for your child significantly easier. Due to my line of work (even though I won’t represent myself), this will not have an expense associated with it other than the filing fees. But for most families, it is worth including the expense of counsel to represent you in your overall adoption budget. It will make the process much easier!


You have the option to appear before an American judge and to adopt your child within the US legal system. The child is already considered your child after adopting them within the Ethiopian legal system. However, at this time you can make any name changes you wish to make, and your child's birth certificate is re-written with YOU as the parents. This can help ensure they are covered by inheritance law (if there are siblings), and is another layer of security for you and your family. It will also make it easier when the time comes that your child has to rely on their birth certificate or other documents (ie. college applications, etc.)


If age discrepancies have been found (the age of many orphans are estimates), the birth date may be adjusted at this point, according to a doctor's recommendations. This may be useful in terms of school later. Unfortunately this process is completely convoluted in Montana at this point.  Well, not even Montana, but in Gallatin County. It is a long legal issue and should you wish to know the intricacies of it, just let me know, I will spare the few that are still reading this the details!


So that's all, folks, as far as this self-educated working-on-adoption-mama knows.. From start to finish, we now expect our adoption to take between 18 and 24 months. I am hoping it will be on the short end, but we are hunkering down for a long wait, keeping in mind the possibility of the pleasant surprise of it taking less time.