Dear Hyat...

Dear Hyat,

My sweet boy, you turned 5 years old this fall.  This is a milestone, though you do not know it now.  This will be the year that you start kindergarten, the year that the world will label you a child and no longer my baby...  Really, it has been a long time since you have had any “baby” left in you. You have grown into this long and lean boy.  I can still hold you – cuddle you, but just barely.  Not long ago, you and your sister fell asleep in the car, as I opted to carry you up to bed, your dad asked if he should take you from me.  I told him no… I realize that is not long before you will be too big for me carry and wanted to cherish that moment of carrying my sleeping boy. There are more moments than I would like to admit that I look upon you and see the man you will become; rather than, the toddler or the little child, or the baby you have been.

You have a very tender heart. I continually pray that you maintain this quality as you mature.  Never see your caring and compassion as a weakness. Always know its bounds and its purpose.  Your heart does not want to see others hurt or angry.  You often give up a toy or split a cookie to console your sister. I may have to ask you to do something multiple times, but the moment you sense anger or frustration in my voice you are all business.  Hyat, your concern for your family and your friends, your desire for our happiness, your care for a stranger that appears to be having a hard – this is admirable. Hold on to it. It is with great hesitation is say this - for I fear tarnishing your kindness; however; there are so many moments I see you so close to sacrificing yourself for another’s happiness… You must know; there is a balance.  You can be tender, kind and compassionate - you should be. Love others. But, you must always maintain your own integrity.

Have no fear; you are not all sugar and no spice.  You are a rambunctious little boy filled with a love of life and an infectious smile.  You love to laugh and will often entice your dad into playing chase or tickling you.  You can be timid, but within your comfort zone you are a whirlwind – jumping, diving, racing, spinning.  You love to rough house and wrestle and this is a constant reminder to me that you are growing up.  You are strong and seem to get stronger every day and there are times I have to relegate the rough housing to your dad for fear of my own well being. Dive in, Hyat. Have fun. Love life.

You have a temper and it manifests itself in frustration, and it’s usually directed at yourself. You are a perfectionist like I am and you become easily annoyed if your handwriting, or crafting, or skiing, or ________ isn’t award-winning. And with your frustration, all of the walls come tumbling down - you have a very hard time chilling out. I suppose it’s the classic cycle of life: our kids do to us what we did to our parents. Hyat, please learn this lesson: IT DOES NOT HAVE TO PERFECT TO BE BEAUTIFUL. I will not lie; this is a lesson that I have to repeat to myself everyday as I struggle with pride and perfectionism.  Hyat, you will do wonderful things and they will not always be perfect, but they will be yours and they will beautiful. 

I pray one day your sister will know how blessed she is to have you.  You love her more than I knew possible.  You are consistently by her side, not just as her playmate, but has her friend and as her protector.  I am not sure she understands your love and your kindness yet, but in time, she will know of the blessing you are in her life. Thank you for being who you are, Hyat. Thank you for being the best brother Embrie could ask for. Thank you for caring so deeply for her well being.  Oh, trust me, you fight…you are siblings after all. And, occasionally, you even ask me to have her leave you alone, so that you may play with her making messes or interrupting.  But by and large, she is your constant companion and you are her guide.

You have reached a new phase with your dad. Though you have been on hunting excursions with him before, you went on your first true hunting outing with your dad.  You spent a morning in the tree stand with him and loved every long, quiet minute of it. However, the way he tells it, I think he loved it more.  He just knows better, he knows it was the first of many wonderful times together, so not only was it sitting in the tree stand with you that day, it was the beginning of something much bigger. Though you boys did not see or shoot any deer that day, you did have a close encounter with an owl landing in your tree. It was just enough to make the experience a thrill and for that we thankful.  I am  thankful you pursue and desire to spend time with your dad doing something you both love. I pray you will both continue to pursue a relationship with one another for the entirety of your lives together. He is an amazing man and has so much to offer to you, not just now while you are child, but always. 

You love, shooting your bow, legos, ninjas, your sister, fishing and hunting with you dad. You are at such an amazing stage of life. You are consistently mastering new skills and amazing us with your talents. Dear boy, keep pursuing new things and never fear learning. Take on new challenges and brace the unknown. You are amazing, wonderful, smart, intelligent, wild, loving, and kind. And we are lucky… Lucky to be blessed with you.

I love you.

Love,

Mama