Dear Embrie Jean,
You turned three this summer. Yes, I am writing this late... but the words I want to share with you have been growing in my heart and it is hard to find the time to bring them into the light. I say to you often that you are my baby. For a long time, you would adamantly respond, “I AM NOT A BABY!” You saw it as name calling. This is something your brother tends to do, which makes you crazy... but you need know he is being silly, ornery even, but not mean. You are, however, my baby and you always will be. Unless there is a very significant surprise in our family, you will be my last child by birth. To a mother’s soul, this is a special honor. I am honored to have had the blessing of bringing both you and your brother into this world, but with you that has carved out a special place in my heart. It has been part of learning, that I will never love one child more than another, but I will love them very differently. You have slowly come to terms with this statement and know you will respond, “I am a big girl, but I will always be your baby.” Those words bring much happiness to my heart. Yes, you will always be my baby.
Being two was difficult for you. You are filled with so much fire and determination. You had opinions and you were passionate about them. I would not classify you into the infamous “terrible twos”. Yes, there were tantrums and tears, there were battles, there was frustration, there was even hysteria at times. Yes, I lost my temper more than I care to admit, and for that I am sorry. We often held you as your body was shaking with sobs as we would encourage you to “use your words,” to share your feelings, thoughts, opinions and not just to lash out. My heart would break with yours when you were sent to time out, which to you was devastating. But here we are on the other side of two, and we have all survived. You have (mostly) learned to navigate those moments that would have sent you in a downward spiral just months ago.
But, despite the “terrible” of you being two, there were also so many smiles, silly faces, belly laughs, snuggles and sweet memories. More than anything we watched you bloom and grow into the little girl you are becoming. We watched as you learned to share your love with those around you. You have so much love and compassion to share - don’t ever stop. We have also watched as your outgoing and silly side is becoming a more dominant part of your personality. You love your brother dearly, but you are no longer so defined by him. I am thankful for the bond you and Hyat share, but I am also grateful that you are already finding a way to carve out who you are and to find your own voice.
Your brother is your protector. Sure, he can hit, pinch, yell, or shove... but, if someone else is to threaten or harm you in anyway he will not tolerate it. He even gets upset if your dad or I have to discipline you. He is there for you, he loves you, he’s got your back... we all do. Never forget that.
You are three. It is amazing that our life together passes minute by minute. Some of the minutes are beautiful, some of them are long and agonizing, and some of them are mundane. But I am amazed that so many minutes can pass so quickly and that we have come to this place in such a short amount of time.
Embrie, I pray that you will always know of my love for you - that you will know of my love each and every second of your life. I pray that you will know of my love when it is obvious and when it is not. I know it is hard to understand that I love you when you are being disciplined or you don’t get your way. It breaks my heart to see those tears, to see that anger. But please know now, and know always, the choices your dad and I make are because we love you... Because we love you and we have been given this amazing opportunity to help shape you into the person you are becoming. Our choices for you will not always be easy and we will not always get it right, but we will always try and we will always love you.
Embrie Jean, you are an amazing little girl. You are beautiful and you can steal anyone’s heart with your sweet blue eyes and your gentle smile. You have stolen mine. I love you for everything you are. I love you for being silly, for loving to smile, for getting frustrated, for losing your temper, for loving to be tickled, for your dimple... I love you for everything that you are and everything that you are going to be.
Thank you for letting me be your mama. Thank you for forgiving me when I don’t get it right. Thank you for loving me even when you don’t want to. Thank you for being you. You are wonderful.
With Love,
Your Mama Always
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