When you start out as a parent you have a vision, an idea of what life and family is going to be like. I think for most of us, this vision is largely shaped by our childhood and our own experiences. We start blending our vision with our spouses and we essentially get to cherry pick the moments that we hope to provide for our own kids. And then we came home with a baby and it was like hitting the pause button on that vision. I think this is, in a large part, because we don't remember that baby phase in our own life and particularly so for me because I was the youngest so there was no little sibling to come home and impact my life. Rather, I was the one turning my sister's world upside down and always trying to catch up or keep up. For me, I knew I would bring home this adorable baby that I would love and cherish, but then in my vision that baby would rather quickly become the son and daughter that we would be adventuring through life with. In hindsight, it is quite apparent that there was gap in my vision....
Don't get me wrong. I loved and cherished having my children as babies, as pre-toddlers, as toddlers. It may be cliche, but I have loved my kiddos through each stage of life and I know how blessed we have been by them. I have cherished their baby smells, watching them learn to roll over, to walk, to explore the world with them, to watch them run and learn. We have had many adventures as a family even in these younger years... Though,it hasn't all been glitter and rainbows, there have temper tantrum, poop, sickness, and fighting. But it is all a part of being a family and growing together.
Stick with me here, I am getting to my point...
I suppose that you could say that we have recently had an "aha moment" of sorts. I say "we" rather casually since I have not actually discussed this "aha moment" with Buck. But as we navigate this parenting gig together, I know from the number of times we have exchanged looks, or laughs, or proud smiles (there have even been a few high-fives), I am confident in declaring his position. And, besides, I am his attorney.
Anyway, my point, over the past few months we have been able to look around and it all makes sense. In a way it has come together for us - all of the diaper changes, nursing, booboo kissing, tickles, disciplining tears, smiles, fort building, teaching, hugs, snuggles has come together and created a family. A really awesome family, if you ask me. The magic has been there the whole time, we have all loved each other each step of the way; however, that magic and love is transforming into something more. The love and dedication to each other will always be there, but we have reached place that we are building relationships. Real relationships with our kiddos and they are active participants. They are the main characters and it is really, really awesome.
The "Aha Moment" for me has been skiing...with my family. Bozeman may not have had the most snow, or, in all reality, the best snow this winter. I may have only had one or two adult only ski days and yes, I know the bottom half of Bridger like the back of my hand and could very likely ski it with my eyes closed. But all of that is okay. Heck, it doesn't really matter; we have had one of the best ski seasons of our life.
So, what is the big deal? The big deal is the amazing impact that skiing together every single weekend has had on our family. There have been more laughs, and conversations, and "watch this" moments than I can count. There have been more HOURS of time where we are focused solely on one another without distraction than I could have imagined. We have watched both our kids love doing something and gain confidence and we have been there alongside them. I have watched my kids cherish time with their grandpa as he takes each of them skiing each week. I have watched their relationship him, as a result of their time together on skis and riding the chairlift, grow and deepen. I have witnessed my husband sacrifice what was comfortable (snowboarding) for what was difficult and unknown (skiing) for the benefit of me and our kids. Having him choose to do what was hard and uncomfortable, so he could help more, connect more has an astounding impact on me and on Hyat and Embrie. (Thanks, Babe. I know I don't say it enough, but I truly appreciate you and your dedication to our family). I mean really, how blessed is the little girl whose dad will let her sprinkle pixie dust on him and then "fly" down the mountain with arms outstretched because he cherishes hearing her giggle.
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| St. Patrick's day silly... They did not want to get pinched by a leprechaun! |
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| Skiing with friends (Kennedy is on the right) |
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| Buck getting some "air" at Tacky Day at Showdown |
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| Hyat flying down the hill... all to literally! |
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| Doing it all by herself... |
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| Our little princess ripper! |
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| Tacky Day at Showdown with the Pauls. |
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| Self portrait... didn't drop my phone! |
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We may or may not have a tradition of stopping at a local brewery for a
post ski beer, pretzels, M&Ms, and juice! |
I mean really, look at those pictures and tell me we are not BLESSED! Sure, we may have to hit the pause button again when kiddo#3 comes home to us, but the lesson is already there. We will be the parents of our weekend warrior lessons in our everyday life, for everyday of our life, whether we are on the ski hill or not. Or as one of our friends puts it a little more simply, "Be there."
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3 comments:
I really enjoyed reading this, JR. You articulate it all perfectly!
Almost shed a tear...you need to print that out and save it in your desk drawer for these really awful attorney days at work.
hi jeni- it's katy dolesh. just catching up on your blog:) i will need to check this more often. you are a great writer! maybe there is hope for us... and maybe that hope is a couple of years away. the family bliss is not happening anytime soon. the 1 1/2 year old is humiliating my parenting abilities. nice post- i enjoyed reading it!
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