They call this the paper chase...

Honestly, I am often still astonished that we have been invited to embark on this journey.  This journey to adoption… adoption from Ethiopia.  Even more amazing is how deeply that invitation, that call has been etched into our hearts.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of our little person in Ethiopia.  Our child, potentially suffering and lonely, living in a country far away from us, living in a country that I have never been to and am only just learning about, trying to understand.  Sometimes, my heart aches terribly for the pain that our child may be feeling, sometimes I have peace in knowing that God is holding that child for us and comforting his or her heart.  It is an overwhelming to say the least. 

We are approaching the end of the stage that is referred to as the paper chase, or the paper pregnancy. Oh my word – PAPER!  You have to realize that I am transactional attorney, so I deal with paper, a lot of paper and on a daily basis.  And yet this “paper chase” has been a little intense.  We have a 4-inch binder filled with documents; there is certainly a lot of paper.  However, it is not so much the amount of paper as the process of getting it that is overwhelming for me.  You see, many of these items that we need are at the request of others. We are dependent on others to take action and to do it right.  I have crafted requests for various individuals specifically stating what we need and any requirements that are applicable for that specific document, but once I pass off that information, I become totally dependent on that person (accountant, banker, doctor, sheriff, etc) doing what I have asked them correctly and in a timely fashion.  Do not misunderstand, all of the people we have asked have been extremely responsive, pleasant and more than willing to assist us.  It is simply a lack of control on my end that is difficult.  I would more than willing to stay and watch over your shoulder as you complete the document to the necessary requirements, but for some reason that is frowned upon.  One might also assume that we have gotten a number of documents back that have been completed incorrectly.  Again, that is not the case… So trust me, I understand that is my issue and my issue only.  It is difficult to explain (though I hope to in a future post), but because of how the process is set up so much is dependent on us getting this right.  If we don’t get this stage right, it could all come back to us for a do-over on this or that and that will just add to the time until our child is able to come to us.  And that is a big deal.

I have also come to realize that the paper chase could also easily be a full time job. For example a late lunch hour can easily include:

• Telephone call to the pediatrician’s office to learn that we will not be required to schedule a visit because they have been seen recently enough for them to process the needed paperwork – hallelujah!
• To Pediatricians office to deliver forms which I need completed.
• Pick up Buck and to the Detention Center to get finger printed.
• Finger-printing completed successfully (including Buck listing his various tattoos for identification).
• To the Sheriff’s Office to request a Local Police Clearance Letter and are informed they want a copy of our social security card in addition to our driver’s license.  (Cursing a little that we no longer carry our SS cards with us).
• Drop Buck off at work and back to my office.
• Call the Sheriff’s secretary to verify that we will not need anything else to get our police clearance letters.  She informs me they don’t need a copy of the card, but just our SSN. Sigh and make a note to get our SS cards out, just in case the lady at the window is insisting on copying our cards tomorrow.
• Call Buck and go over our list of to-do’s for tomorrow.

And this is what is likely every lunch hour.  We are running here or there to pick-up or drop off this form or that form.  We are ordering driving records checks, credit checks, scheduling and attending doctors appoints, etc.  And all so we can have a piece of paper, properly notarized, to slip into our binder.

It is an interesting process.  All of this is being done to verify that we are fit to parent.  Trust me; I am aware of atrocious behavior that has been taken out against under-privileged children.  Trust me, I desperately want us to find a way to protect child from all of the evil of this world. I totally and wholeheartedly understand this is all in an effort to protect our child, to guarantee his or her safety. I understand and I passionately believe we must protect these children. But it is a bit hard to believe that essentially our ability to provide for, to love, to care for, to raise and to care for this child is being reduced to a pile of documents, simply pieces of paper.  I would rather that “they” meet Hyat and Embrie, that they see the love, the fire for life in their eyes and know that we doing an okay job as parents.  I wish “they” could listen to my heart and to feel the ache, the joy, the desire that it holds for our child and that would convey that we are fit to parent.

On a final note, I would really like to express our gratitude to those of you that have tangibly given to us. Your generosity is most appreciated.  We are so thankful to have you walking along side us in this journey! We also truly covet all of the support and love that has been shared with us on this journey – the cards, the prayers, the notes, the emails.  They all mean so very much to us!  Thank you!  We are truly blessed by each of you!